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On occasion, Jay Spring believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are often followed by a “crash”, where he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his behavior, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that understanding by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they feel beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people conceal it, because of widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies points out this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her partner “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I never had that growing up,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a therapist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number